Updated: Aug 30, 2019
Are you holding onto something because you feel like you have been wronged? Have done something wrong to somebody else or to yourself? Do you feel bitter towards the person who has wronged you? Are you mad at yourself for something you shouldn’t have done?
We have all been there. Whether we were hurt as a child, shamed at our workplace, betrayed by someone we trusted, abandoned by someone we loved…we have all experienced pain and held on to it year after year after year. How can you forgive somebody who did something horrible to you? How can you forget how stupid that mistake you’ve made was?
But trust me – speaking from my own personal experience and the conversations I had with women through my practice – forgiveness is a powerful thing. Forgiveness is a tool that leads you to a healed heart.
The pain that you feel is real. Before you can let go and open yourself to forgiveness, you must acknowledge that the pain you feel is real. You may have experienced during childhood when you don’t know anything better. You may have thought, “I should have been quieter. I should have been more obedient. Had I done this and not that, then I wouldn’t have been hurt.” Or you may have been wounded so deeply that you’ve held a grudge against your parents, your bullies, your former partner, your old friend. You may have created a story in your head and started to hate yourself for allowing such things to happen.
Your pain is real but you must not forget that you are still lovable, valuable, and worthy.
Come to think of it, you might be feeling bitter towards someone who doesn’t even know that you are upset with them. And yet, you are the one that’s holding on to it. Your anger is not hurting them half as much as it’s hurting you. Inside of you, you’re creating stress and toxicity that, over time, leads to physiological diseases that hurt your body and psychosocial ones that damage your relationships.
The unforgiveness of self and unforgiveness of others will hold you back. Unforgiveness will never allow you to move forward and find true freedom, optimal levels of health, loving relationships or, ultimately, a vibrant life. By holding on to the pain, you continue reliving it and killing your spirit.
Forgiving is not condoning. You don’t condone the wrongdoing. What’s wrong is wrong. You are just choosing to shift your focus from pain to love. You Invest in the concept that love can make you forgive yourself and others, and heal you.
And the best way to do that is to pray daily for those who have hurt you – may it be someone else or yourself. It may not feel authentic at first with the unfathomable resentment you are feeling. But try it anyway. Believe that when you start to focus on growing the love inside of you more, you will start forgetting. It’s a big statement. Yet, if you’ve set your faith in this concept, eventually your feelings will follow.
When you forgive the past season of your life, you will unlock the prison of pain. And you will open your life up to the beginning of a new season where you gain an energetic body, defy the aging process, improve your relationships, create an impact with your passion and purpose, inspire the people around you, and fulfill your destiny.
When you forgive and set yourself free from pain, you get to love yourself more. And if you have self-love, health is not the final result but only the beginning of the many possibilities waiting for you.
So, don’t continue to live in pain. Forgiveness is more powerful. It will unlock you, heal you, restore you. It will create a new start, a new season in your life. You have a great life ahead of you. Forgiveness will pave your way to greatness.
Your turn! Imagine where you’ll be a year from today if you learn to forgive others and especially yourself.