The fear of success has been known to rival the fear of failure.
I see it all the time with my clients.
> Sabotaging themselves once they get close to their weight loss goal
> Thinking that self-care is selfish
> Making strides with their inner work but still not believing they are capable of a life they love
But why would anyone not want to reach their goals?
Well, It's often subconscious and not intentional. Here are a few theories about why we may be avoiding success...
Fear of Change. (Even if its a change you’re longing for)… If we try something and fail, the mind finds comfort knowing we can always go back to where we were before. AKA our comfort zone. But when we try something and succeed, we’re now treading in uncharted territory - where things are different, and situations change. Thinking about everything changing when they succeed, starts spinning their wheels with - how will I identify myself now? If I actually get what I want - then what? What’s next for me? How do I deal with all the change? >> You see, when people have identified with their struggle for so long, it may feel like it becomes a part of them and that the simpler option would be to not hit their goals.
Think we’re undeserving of it. It’s possible we were conditioned at a young age to think a certain way. Maybe it was that success is too big of a risk. Perhaps it was not to get our hopes up with something we really wanted. Maybe someone told you your goals were too crazy, or my favorite one (which personally impacted me in high school): was being told to choose a different career because the one you want “doesn’t pay enough.” Often, this advice comes from a protective angle, not a negative one. But if we were inadvertently told from our childhood to dim our spotlight and change our goals, then it will significantly play a role in our adult life.
Today, I want to educate you on up-leveling your COURAGE.
To be excited about change. To be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
And I’m here to hold your hand through it all. Can you see me reaching out for you?
Let’s have an honest moment to reflect on this, you and me. Pretend I’ve opened up my Encinitas California home, and we’re sitting on the front veranda, our feet lounged up towards the west-facing sun.
Let’s dig in.
“Don’t apologize and believe that you are capable. Make commitments to yourself and keep them. Allow yourself to grow, stretch, and transform. Choose a few people to trust. Get intimate with your dreams and visions. Ask yourself the right questions, like what do you want your life to look like?”
[I pour you a glass of red wine and continue my encouragement…]
“As you start to get things in place - your mentorship, community, action-plan - don’t hide in procrastination. Keep pressing along. Face. Your. Fear. Don’t believe in any limiting beliefs. Stand for what you want. Think about what decisions you’re making right now that are holding you back from what you really want. And never forget to love beyond your fears, so that you can reach your goals.”
We’ll both stand up from our chairs, and give each other a quick squeeze. Sometimes, a good hug is the first boost we need to face our fears (sorry about that if you’re not a hugger!)
And let me leave you with one more note...
Courageousness is a skill you can acquire.
You don’t have to be born with it.
>>> Let’s create a movement of courage today, lovely lady. I *know* you are capable of it.
(And you're invited back over for wine and a chat anytime!)
Ready to keep the convo rolling? You can do so right here. Eeek, can’t wait to chat!
And don’t worry, I’m obsessed with helping women be COURAGEOUS and find SUCCESS (no matter where you’re at in life right now). We’re here to help you get there in a safe, judgment-free way - connect with us right here. Can’t wait!