What comes to mind when you think of self-care?
Does the term come across as self-indulgent or selfish?
Maybe your mind instantly goes to expensive spa treatments or shopping. Or maybe your current belief is that self-care is only reserved for those with time and money to spare. If that’s the case, it’s time to rebrand what it really means. Self-care is just another name for taking care of yourself, which is vital for your health and well-being.
More specifically, self-care means identifying and meeting your needs, something that most women struggle with. In our society, women often feel obligated to be caretakers. They tend to put others first (Children, spouses, parents, friends, and even pets!) So it may feel awkward (and even selfish) for a woman to suddenly shift the balance from everyone-else-care to self-care.
It’s time for you to view self care differently and enter into this uncharted territory, however uncomfortable it might feel at first.
And if you let me, I can help you throughout the journey.
Don’t Feel Guilty When You Put Yourself First
There are so many women who feel so guilty when they take care of themselves. They feel like setting some time aside for their self-care is selfish and they choose instead to focus all their time on taking care of their kids, spouses and other responsibilities, and put themselves on the backburner. That leads them to exhaustion and it ends up negatively affecting their health. From the frustration and overwhelm that they feel as a result, they can’t be present with their loved ones as they should because they’re resentful, angry or stressed all the time.
And so, therefore, self-care is not selfish at all. And it’s not a luxury. When you put yourself first, everybody else in your life wins. That includes your family members, employer, employees, and friends. You even start to achieve better results in everything you do both personally and professionally.
Self-care is like a proverbial cup and saucer in your life. You have to do it to make sure that your cup is flowing so much that you're giving to others from the saucer that it's sitting on because there’s more than enough overflow for them. Having that cup depleted because you’re not taking care of yourself just leaves you with nothing to give others.
Living Life By Design, and Not By Default
In my own experience with self-care, I remember when my stepdad was passing away. I was one of the main caregivers the last few months of his life. As we were going through that transition together, I still got up in the mornings, did my exercises, and then came back and had a super healthy breakfast. I would also meditate and pray so that when I was supporting him I would be present in supporting him to the fullest. Even today, as you know, I just had twins and I have a six year old who's getting homeschooled, but I still exercise.
I get up in the morning, breastfeed the two babies, then go out and do a beach run, meditate, pray, and get back home in time for the next breastfeed. I never disrupt that practice no matter what because I’m always conscious of the fact that if I do it my day ends up being bad and I fail at fulfilling my family oriented responsibilities. But when I come back from my run, and I’m refreshed, I go in my shower and use all my essential oils, my body scrubs, my mask, and I feel as good as if I had a spa experience, then I show up to my kids as the best version of myself.
How to Get Started
Use the next coming week to experiment on putting your self-care first so that you can feel what it's like to be operating from that place. Starting later is just another way that we let ourselves go so don’t let that idea into your mind. Brainstorm ideas on how you can take care of yourself and make a brave declaration to commit to it.
Learning the importance of that self-care by seeing how it feels and the difference it can make in your life will help you understand why you should give yourself permission to focus on you.
Another way to get started on your self care is to attend the upcoming Believe Event (thebelieveevent.com) and you can find the link to book a spot below.
Links and Resources in this Episode